Despite her widow status, advancing age, and increasing forgetfulness, Elaine insists on “staying in my home!”
She manages pretty well, but lately her adult sons have become concerned. Evidence suggests that mom’s new maid has been “borrowing” money from the petty cash envelope.
And the latest problem? Yesterday, a “nice young man” sold mom life insurance policies for each of her five grandchildren, to the tune of about $180/month total.
Can you say, “financial elder abuse”?
“Financial elder abuse is a different kind of problem,” writes Jackson, MS based elder law attorney Richard A Courtney.
“The opportunity for abuse arises when an elder loses the ability to effectively manage his or her own finances. The decline may be gradual; that is, often there is no clear line of demarcation between the point when one can pay his or her own bills and handle money, and the point at which it is clear that the senior is no longer able to manage finances. People in positions of trust, such as adult children, grandchildren, and even unrelated caregivers can take advantage of the declining mental capacity of a vulnerable elder and prey upon this incapacity.”
When an elderly person loses their capacity to handle their own personal affairs and make clear decisions, they become vulnerable not only to greedy strangers, but (even worse) to greedy people they thought they could trust.
What can you do to protect an aging parent? Here are four ideas for guarding against financial elder abuse:
- Avoid it. The best time to avoid financial elder abuse is to stop it before it happens. There comes a time when it’s necessary to step into a parent’s financial life to protect them from those who would take advantage of their situation. This is never an easy step, nor is it one to take lightly. You may need to contact an elder law attorney to discuss your best options (e.g., obtaining power of attorney, etc.) for protecting your parent(s).
- Identify it. Call it what it is. It’s not “borrowing money,” it’s theft. And an insurance salesman who guilts an aging widow into buying five life insurance policies for “your precious grandkids” is likely guilty of predatory selling.
- Stop it. If you suspect—with good reasons—that someone working for your mother or father is stealing money, it’s time for that worker to go. If you think your folks bought a financial product they neither understood nor needed, you can contact the company’s senior management with your concerns. You may be able to get their money back. At the very least, you can tell the company to never again sell your mom or dad anything without your approval.
- Report it. If you suspect someone has broken the law, you need to report it to authorities. The toll-free number for Louisiana Elderly Protective Services is 1-833-577-6532. You can call between the hours of 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM.
In one of her bestselling books, author/humorist Erma Bombeck writes movingly about caring for an aging parent. She notes how, over time, the roles get flipped.
“You bathe and pat dry the body that once housed you. You spoon feed the lips that kissed your cuts and bruises and made them well.” She asks, “When did I become the mother, and the mother become the child?”
Caring for aging parents is a bittersweet experience. But it’s the way of the world. The ones who fiercely protected us when we were young need our vigilant protection when they are old.
Personally, I think there ought to be a dungeon underneath every jail for those who take advantage of the elderly.
Absent that, it’s up to us who care about our aging loved ones to watch for and prevent financial elder abuse.
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