Talk is Cheap – Show Me the Love

What is love?

And what does that have to do with money?

A really smart guy once said, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

Well, if the treasure is money and the heart is love, then love and money go hand in hand.

From one perspective, you could say that where you spend your money, and on whom you spend your money, and for what you spend your money… shows where your heart is. Where your love is. 

But I also want to suggest that money may not only be diagnostic of your love, it may also be directive. It’s not just that money diagnoses where your love is, but in many cases, it directs your love where to go.

Only teenagers and Hallmark movies believe love is 100% a feeling. As we mature, we learn that the feelings of love are wonderful but pretty unreliable. Beneath, and supporting, the feelings of love is a bedrock decision to love. 

“I will love this person. Period. Sometimes I will feel like it. Sometimes those feelings will be stronger than others. And sometimes those feelings will be dormant. But the decision doesn’t change.”

That’s the big idea behind mature, lasting love anyway.

So, back to money – what in the world does all this have to do with money?

Again, I’d like to argue…pretty much everything. 

Here are just a few ideas on how couples can spend money on each other in ways that demonstrate their love to one another and encourage that love to grow. See if you can come up with some more on your own. Then share them with me, please! 

Life insurance. This may not sound very romantic but start here for a very good reason. When you decide to buy something that only pays off if you are not around to enjoy it, there is no doubt this is a selfless act. Life insurance is a love product and is bought for love reasons. 

My experience is that women are naturally selfless lovers of others. It is the male of the species that must be taught the benefits of selfless love. I’ve watched men go through a decision-making process as they moved from “oh, she’ll get married again…” to “I’m going to get enough of this stuff to make sure she’s OK no matter what…” And in making that selfless decision, his love for her grows (not the other way around). It’s kind of cool to see.

Simplify. Sometimes it takes time, focus and some money to de-clutter our lives from all the distractions and details that keep us busy and apart. Spending money to make your lifestyle simpler, so that you can spend more time together, is a great investment in love.

Personal growth. Help your spouse continue to grow. Are one or both of you stuck in a rut? Why stay there? Let your spouse know you’re willing to spend money to promote his or her ongoing growth, professionally and personally. It’s selfless. It’s loving. And it will be a great investment in your spouse.

Together trips. Vacations are great, but this isn’t exactly what I’m talking about. On a vacation, the focus is often the destination, the experience or your own relaxation. On a together trip, the focus is the two of you and your growth together. This can be as simple as a long weekend. Or maybe a “staycation,” where you declare yourselves on vacation, but stay in your home (it’s inexpensive and you have all your stuff handy!). Or consider a couples’ weekend put on by a specialty group. Family Life Ministries has a Weekend to Remember event they do in Dallas, Houston and Little Rock each year. 

Valentine’s Day is coming this Friday. So, gentlemen, get the cards, the flowers, the candy, and the dinner reservations. But please don’t stop there. Because all that is one-day-out-of-the-year romantic talk. And if that’s all we do, talk is cheap.

Invest in your love. Remember, where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. 

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